I feel so guilty over lap dance from stripper and want to tell my girlfriend

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD a lap dance from a stripper and even though I barely touched her, I’m feeling so guilty.

Lots of men do the same, but I’m struggling to move on. I’m 28 and my girlfriend is 27.

At five years this is my longest relationship and I really see a future with this woman.

I adore her and we’re now considering marriage and starting a family.

I used to enjoy these discussions, and feel flattered when my girlfriend drops hints about her dream proposal from me.

But now I feel uncomfortable when she mentions anything about future plans because a sense of guilt washes over me.

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I’ve been feeling bad ever since going on a pub crawl with my friends which ended up at a strip club.

One dancer took a liking to me and suggested a private lap dance in one of the rooms.

My friends egged me on and it all seemed like an innocent bit of fun, but while we were alone in the room together I got a little carried away.

She had stripped off to nothing except her knee-high black boots.

Then she whispered in my ear that if I really liked what I saw, I should pleasure myself.

I was so turned on, that is exactly what I did. It felt electrifying but as soon as I finished, I felt ashamed.

I feel sick to my stomach knowing I’ve betrayed my girlfriend.

How could I possibly propose to her now, when I feel like such a fraud?

My friend said it’s as innocent as watching porn, but I’m not convinced.

Is it cheating? Should I confess and risk losing my love?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Let’s be honest – anything that removes the focus from your relationship is cheating, which is why you are feeling so bad.

But everyone makes mistakes in life, the important thing is to learn from them.

If you think your partner might find out from someone else, it would be better if she heard about this from you, as hard as telling her might be.

Because you seem genuinely regretful and have realised that this behaviour does not sit well with your morals, it may be best to put this down to experience and keep this episode to yourself.

Spilling the beans may help you feel better, but there’s every chance it’ll make her feel miserable and insecure.

Also, be mindful of how much you drink – alcohol can cause people to behave in ways they would never dream of if they were sober.

If you really love your partner and want to stay together, then don’t endanger your relationship in this way again.

Try to connect with that excitement about your future again, and make a promise to yourself to put this right.

Read my support pack Guilt. It should be of help to you.

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